Monday, September 26, 2011


I always wanted to be accepted. Let me rephrase that.. I always wanted to be accepted by a man. It didn't matter who as long as we could have a conversation, and got along. If we had something in common.. cool. But I couldn't deal with being alone. I was one of those people who after they broke up with someone, had a new boyfriend in a matter of weeks. I actually was referred to online dating from a friend and decided to give that a try. I went on a lot of dates. A friend of mine called me a "serial monogamist". The world was at my fingertips, I could search and talk to as many men as I wanted to. I was scared of being alone. I gave in way too easily to guys and I lost my self confidence for a while. I got my heart broken a few times too. I didn't matter anymore, what mattered is I wasn't allowed to be alone, I thought I'd find someone who thought I was worth something, and I would find someone to go do things with.  I turned away from God.  My relationship with God used to be so important to me and I thought for a while I was going to find a man who thought the same and put Him first.  It didn't matter anymore. I stopped going to church too. My family tried to help me get out of my funk but I was overwhelmed and sad. No guy was going to give me what I wanted. That feeling of acceptance, trust and love.

 No one but God. One day I was sitting in my car, I was being asked out by two guys through text messages. I sat there for a while and I questioned who I was, what my purpose is, and why I needed a guy to let me know all of that. I knew then what I needed to do. I politely declined their offers and I started praying again the way I used to. I started hanging out with my family and friends more. I wasn't alone... ever. I just needed to realize that. God never turned on me. I wasn't being rejected. He always had his arms wide open for me. He loves unconditionally. I just needed to be reminded of that.

 However, I did open another online dating account a few weeks after. I went on another couple of dates.. but I still felt unsatisfied. One day I got an email from a guy that I found out lived rather close to me. We talked on the phone a few times before we decided to meet. I found out he has a relationship with Christ. I was beyond excited. We even prayed together on our second date! I have to say it has been the most fulfilling, rewarding and best relationship I've ever had in my life. 

 I'll never forget that day in my car when things started to make sense again. I had to discover that I wasn't alone and no man would truly give me the satisfaction like God can. I discovered who I am, and what I am truly worth and I never plan on going back to thinking that way again. 

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I am not ashamed.

So many times in our lives we feel that we aren't good enough or that we aren't doing the right things or someone is going to judge me.

What is right for right now?

I honestly feel everything happens for a purpose.

No matter if it's not what you wanted to happen...

You were created for a purpose.

Don't dwell on the past.

Mistakes happen.

Life happens.

Pray. Reflect. Move on.

We are all okay.

You are okay.

2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

Never forget that God loves you.

You are going to make mistakes. You are human.

Learn from them and keep going.

With peace and love,

Krystle :)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

To conquer the fear.

So the inspiration for this post is kind of comical, but bear with me...

I have a huge fear of spiders. When I see them, I run to the other side of the room, squeal like a little girl... you get the picture.

As I was showering today, I noticed a particularly large one climbing down to me...

First instinct.. I was terrified. I just stood there and couldn't move. It was huge and scary...

But as I stood there, I realized how ridiculous I was being...

It's just a spider after all, right?


So I grabbed a tissue and I got it out of the shower.

I don't know about you, but I LOVE to conquer fears.

There's no greater rush than to tackle something that terrifies you.

Over the summer, I went on a mission trip as an adult leader for a youth group.

It was an absolutely incredible experience.

Not only did I get to bond with the kids, I got to meet children from the area and help paint a home.

I also have a fear of heights.

The only people who could paint the roof for the house was the adult leaders.

I was asked to do it...

My first instinct.. "there is NO way I am getting up on that thing."

But.. eventually with some motivation from the others I climbed on the ladder and I stood on the roof and started painting.

It felt amazing.

 If only in life every time we conquer something, there are people applauding us and hooting and hollering our name...

God is doing that.  He wants us to conquer those fears. He doesn't want us to become so hindered that we don't even try new things.

One last example...

A few years ago, I went away on a vacation (somewhere Tropical) where I had the chance to go scuba diving.

Did I mention, I also have a fear of the ocean and swimming?

Being it was my first time scuba diving, I had to take lessons from an instructor.

So he taught me everything I needed to know in a hotel pool next to the Dive shop.

I had my vest on, my mouth piece, and all my gear in place... I was going to conquer a HUGE fear.

I kept going under water trying to get the breathing down, and I panicked!

"I'm not going to do this," I kept telling myself.

The instructor was patient and understanding.

Then he started getting a little annoyed with me...

He asked me, "why are you doing this?"

I told him, "I always wanted to do this... but I was afraid."

He told me he'll be there with me holding my hand through it all.

He kept his word.

I eventually got on the boat and jumped in the ocean with him.

At first, I freaked out. This was it, there is no turning back now.

I swam to the surface.

He said, "I'm right here, let's go under."

And so we did.

It was amazing. I saw so many different colored fish, and even swam through an abandoned ship. The instructor even put a sponge on my hand. He kept his word. He never let go of my hand until I was ready. I gave him the thumbs up to let him know I was ok and he let go.

I'll never forget that experience for as long as I live.

Jesus is holding your hand through it all just like that instructor was holding mine.

He wants us to go out there and experience what life has to offer.

Isaiah 41:13

"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you."

Be strong my brothers and sisters, for God is on our side.

With peace and love,

Krystle :)