2011

Since I haven’t updated in a few months I figure why not go with two posts…

Here’s a salute to 2011.

It will truly be a memorable year in my life.

This is the year I graduated college.

I definitely should be a doctor by now with how many years I went to school (between transferring colleges and taking a semester off and figuring out how I’d do it on my own.)

I still don’t have a career but the only one who knows where my life will lead in that regard is God.

It was the year I believed in love again.

Unconditional, chaotic, crazy love.

I restored my relationship with God this year and renewed my faith in Him.

I started dating a man that is everything I could ever want. He has showed me the meaning of unconditional love in so many ways.

It’s also the year my father got out of the hospital and perplexed the doctor’s with his healing.

Exactly 2 years of being sick and he’s finally on the road to recovery.

Thank you Jesus.

I definitely grew up a lot this year.

2011… you were a roller coaster of emotions. There were times where I felt like giving up and times where I was so thankful to be alive and moving forward.

You were a good year, one that I truly will remember.

But let’s not even get started about the pop culture…

So here’s to 2012. May it be as uplifting, crazy, and life changing as 2011 was.

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice.”~ T.S Eliot

A message for Christmas

I know I haven’t written in here for a while but I recently read an article on the blog “Single Dad Laughing” and felt very compelled to respond…

The homophobia in this world breaks my heart. The bullying, the picketing outside of events, and the overall “gay bashing” needs to stop.

How are we ever going to spread the message of God’s love when we are hurting others?

What are we as Christians accomplishing?

I know it’s not all of us. There are only a select few but those few are the voices that are being broadcast and providing the message to non-believers that God is hateful. There is a sign that I’ve seen many times that says,“God hates fags”.

Do you really believe that’s true?!

Do you think people want to come to a God that hates them?

Let us as Christians provide love and love them for who they are and not what we think they should be.

Jesus never went around hating on other people.

Do you know the only people Jesus ever scolded were the so-called “religious” ones?

Have you ever heard to “Love thy neighbor as thyself”?

Some of my best friends are gay and I love them with all of my heart. They are some of the greatest people I know. It blows my mind when I see all of the hateful messages out there from “Christians”.

You all know the verse…

“For God so loved the world, that He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16.

This Christmas, let’s spread that message and not “God hates fags” or whatever else people have been saying…

God loves the world. He loves us all. No one is excluded in God’s love. His love is SO great that He gave us His only Son to take away our sin and make us new.

I’m not saying everyone has to believe in what I believe. Everyone is entitled to his or her own view. I’m just saying that I’m going to love others as Jesus loves me and accept them for whom they truly are.

And this message doesn’t just go for those that are gay. It goes towards those who are a different religion, who have a criminal past and those who you believe are just “different”.

Love them as well.  Even when they don’t show love back…

Love them.

Show them that you care, that they are special and mean something in this crazy world.

I leave you with this verse from Philippians 2: 1-5

“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.”

Don’t be the bully. Be the example. Be Christ-like.

This is Halloween.

Happy late Halloween!
Hope you all had a great Halloween weekend. Figured I'd post some fun pictures from the weekend. My boyfriend and I decided to be nerds. (which isn't a stretch :) ) and my brother was one of the guys from the Lost Boys movie and my sister was Marilyn Monroe.

A list.

I've been reading a few blogs today and keep seeing "lists for things to accomplish before 30" and felt inspired to write one of my own...

             Things I'd like to do before the big 3-0.

- Have a career (I just graduated college and am on my third internship and am trying to patiently wait for a job offer but I know it's all in God's planning)

- Learn to play the piano. (I've been training in voice since I was 14 and randomly took piano lessons but never put the time and effort into getting decent.)

- Have my own apartment again.. that links to the first item on my list :)

- Travel Europe. ( I have this plan that when I can afford it I am going to take a trip to Europe and meet my family in Greece and see theater shows in London) A girl can dream...

- Learn how to cook better. ( It's...just not my thing... yet.)

- Have a car again? ( If I work in NYC like I'd prefer to then I might not need it.. but if I stay local I will.)

- Have my own cabaret or sing in one.

- Get married. (THAT is completely in God's timing)

That's just a few things I'd like to do... but, if they don't work out I am still completely thankful for all of the blessings in my life that God has given to me.


- What would you like to accomplish? :)

dealing with the past.

abandonment. 


afraid. 


bitterness. 


confusion. 


devastation.


Why me? 


What was the purpose of that?


Those could be some of the feelings and thoughts you have after you have been taken advantage of.

I was pretty upset after that happened to me but I didn't know how to tell anyone. I kept it inside for over a year and thought it would just go away.

The flashbacks haunted me.

Until one night, I knew I had to face the memory...


I was in love.

 I had given my heart to someone and trusted that he had my best intentions in mind. I thought he loved me too and he would never hurt me and we'd be together for a long time.

 I was wrong.

I felt alone after we broke up. I thought no one could understand me.

I was angry at God too.

My dad was sick.. he went through two years of operations and dealing with confused doctors who were not sure of how to heal him.

I was looking for comfort in a man that would help me deal with my father's illness.

So I gave in. I gave in a lot.

I thought I deserved it.

I believed I deserved to be treated as a body and not as a person.

My feelings didn't matter, I was just there to please him.

So I kept the pain inside.

I didn't think God could heal that pain. I thought He was ashamed of me and that He turned on me so I stopped praying and putting Him first.

It took me a while to get out of that frame of thinking...

I kept it hidden. I thought about it a lot and how I was treated but I didn't really tell anyone.  I was embarrassed and I thought I deserved it.

I didn't deserve it. No one deserves that.

I've come to the conclusion that I went through that to talk to other people about it. It was a learning experience and it taught me how I want to be treated and how I want to be respected by a man.

It showed me the kind of relationship I am looking for and to value the relationship I have now.

God loves each and every one of us and has a plan for our lives.

He wants us to come to Him broken, bitter, and confused so He can restore us and show us the love He had for us all along. He never left us. He just wanted us to realize that.

If you're broken about your past, tell Him about it. He loves you dearly and can restore your sadness and cleanse the guilt and shame you may feel.

I had to be reminded of that. I'm still working out my past issues with Him and I will for a long time. But I now know, I am not alone in this. He is on my side and will walk me through my healing.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Psalm 147:3

An afternoon in Hacklebarney Farm.

This Sunday, I got to spend the day with my boyfriend Michael and our church family in Hacklebarney Farm. It is an incredibly beautiful place. I went for a walk and took some pictures of the area. I can't wait

to go back :) God is pretty amazing, isn't He?

my lovely sister!

It's a few days late but I wanted to wish my beautiful sister a happy birthday! I get so caught up with life sometimes that I forget about the people who truly matter to me. Amy is incredibly talented, smart and has one of the biggest hearts out of anyone I know. So happy 24th birthday my dear. You are  so amazing and I hope you never forget that. I love you sooo much!!! xoxo.